the bear who ate italy

Humans,

Those of you who have been around for a while know about my first stint in Italy in the 1930s. My artist friends from France connected me with FT Marinetti, founder of Italy's Futurist movement. Two decades earlier, he'd caused ripples with his Futurist Manifesto, and he was looking to shake things up again. I suggested the culinary world was ripe for harvest. We locked ourselves in a room at the Casa Galimberti and emerged two weeks later with the Manifesto of Futurist Cuisine.

Much of the manifesto I now find silly (Absolutely NO pasta allowed! Lambrusco wine served in gas cans!), but I was religious about it back then. And I continued to return to that great country time and time again to pick up new (ancient) culinary techniques to bring to you all. 

Years ago, we sold out tickets for a multi-night Cow by Bear: Italy series, premiering such favorites as my Tutti Frutti Di Mare, the Mambo Italiano, and the Milan-Turin cocktail. And I’m happy to say we’re back with a fresh installment of Italian cuisine done with a Bear flair. 

On this menu, we are featuring courses with flavors from a handful of my favorite regions. 

EMILIA-ROMAGNA Region – Here, I fell in love with my first Mortadella. Traditionally flavoured with peppercorns, the versions I sampled contained pistachios and myrtle berries. Incredible.

VENETO Region – This is where I stayed on a peach farm, gorging myself one night on so many stonefruit that I fell asleep among the groves. I woke up with what can only be described as a fruit-hangover.

PIEDMONT Region – In Piedmont, I first experienced the “Slow Food Movement,” which had such an astounding impact on me that I brought many of the values home to my table.

TUSCANY Region – Here I hiked many a rolling hill in an incredible multi-day wine tour that left me wondering why we’d ever drink anything else. I credit this region for refining my palette for the noble red.

SICILIA Region – I will never forget my Sicilian cousin Luciano waking me in the early morning hours and taking me via bicicletta to the local pasticceria for the freshest morning melt-in-your-mouth cannoli I have ever tasted.

I simply cannot wait to share the flavors that these experiences have shaped. Please join me for my upcoming series of Italian-inspired dinners. 

All my love,

Bear

The First Fashion Bear

Humans,

There is an ancient and well-known story we bears-who-walk-on-two-legs tell our cubs as they are growing up. It’s part of our oral tradition as quadrapeds who have integrated into human society, and I think it helps our young ones feel a little more at home in the world. I thought I’d share it with you as so many of you have been curious if there are more bears out there like me and my family. The story goes like this…

Once upon a time, in a lush forest filled with towering trees and blooming flowers, lived a bear named Benny. Benny wasn’t your ordinary bear; he was a bear with a heart as warm as honey and a flair for fashion.

Benny's days were usually filled with collecting berries and lounging by the river, but he had a secret passion – designing clothes. Every night, under the twinkling stars, Benny would sew incredible outfits using materials he found in the forest. Leaves became elegant capes, flower petals were transformed into vibrant skirts, and twine was woven into stylish hats.

One day, a squirrel named Stan stumbled upon Benny's hidden workshop. Stan was astonished and impressed by the bear's talent and decided to spread the word. Soon enough, animals from all over the forest flocked to Benny, eager to get their own custom-made outfits.

Benny was overjoyed to share his creations with other animals. He designed a shimmering dress of spider silk for Benicia the bunny, a dapper lichen tuxedo for Frank the fox, and even a glittering crown made of dewdrops for a sassy old owl named Octavia.

As Benny's popularity grew, so did his joy. He loved seeing the light in his friends' faces as they strutted around the forest in his unique designs. Benny's confidence soared, and he decided to host the forest's first-ever fashion show.

The day of the fashion show arrived, and the animals gathered around the clearing, excited to see the latest creations. Benny stepped onto the makeshift runway wearing his masterpiece – a three-piece suit of golden leaves and a fedora made of ferns. The crowd gasped in awe, and Benny felt a warmth in his heart like never before.

That night, under the same twinkling stars, Benny realized that his true talent wasn't just in designing clothes but in bringing delight and merriment to his friends. From that day on, Benny continued to create and inspire, knowing that his love for fashion and his kind heart would always make the forest a more beautiful place.

All we walking-and-talking bears take inspiration from Benny, and we teach our young ones that they can be anything they want to be in the human world, as long as they are creating and inspiring for good. And isn’t that just the spirit of what we all experience at Cow by Bear?

We invite you to join the animals of the forest (and, okay, a few of the humans of Southern California) at one of our dining experiences, where joy, merriment, and connection are our greatest goals. If you’ve never been to one of our dinner parties, NOW is the time to give it a go.

Can’t wait to see you. 

Much love from my heart,

Bear

Grumblar's Cantina

Humans,

Last year, I shared with you the rich history I have with Chewbacca the Wookie, a friendship that bloomed when I was on a cooking assignment to the peaceful planet Kashyyyk. If you’re not yet a believer in the importance of quadriped chefs in space, I wanted to share the tale of the first bear chef to pioneer this industry. This, of course, is the story of Grumblar.

Many eons ago in a galaxy far, far away, a bearlike creature named Grumblar lived in a cave nestled near the bustling, neon-lit streets of Coruscant. A towering, fur-covered creature with a love for cooking (sound familiar?), Grumblar’s culinary skills were unmatched, drawing in patrons from all corners of the galaxy. He was known for his passion for flavor and a flair for innovative cuisine that combined both his species' rustic traditions and the sophisticated influences of intergalactic flavors. Grumblar's cantina, "The Galactic Grub," was a beloved hotspot, known for its exotic dishes made from rare ingredients sourced from across the stars.

Despite his impressive stature and intimidating appearance, Grumblar was a gentle soul with a knack for putting together meals that brought comfort and joy to his customers. His specialty? A savory dish called the "Bantha BBQ,” – slow-cooked with a blend of spices that would tantalize the senses and leave guests coming back for more. He used only the finest ingredients, some of which he sourced from his adventures through forests on Kashyyyk, and others that he scoured from vendors on Tatooine, thus ensuring that every bite was a burst of flavor. His reputation for mastering both traditional mammalian recipes and galactic fusion creations earned him a loyal following, from smugglers to Jedi and even the occasional bounty hunter.

Grumblar’s success wasn’t always guaranteed, though. Before opening his restaurant, he served as the head chef aboard a smuggler’s ship, where he first discovered his knack for creating meals that could sway even the most hardened individuals. His journey to fame was anything but smooth—there were moments when he faced off against rival chefs, like the notorious Rodian, Chef Skree, who would try to sabotage his meals or even outcook him using underhanded tricks. Yet, Grumblar’s kindness, patience, and refusal to compromise on quality won him the respect of many and ultimately led him to open his own establishment.

Amid the chaos of galactic politics, Grumblar's kitchen remained a sanctuary — a place where the hustle of bounty hunters and the quiet contemplation of a wandering Jedi alike could find solace in a bowl of his signature Yobacca Stew. Grumblar proved that no matter the conflict or the distance between worlds, food has the unique power to unite even the most unlikely of allies.

Stay Wild,

Bear

The Time Uncle Wilbur Sank My Boat

Howdy, Human Friends!

Many of you have been with the Bear Family for years, so you know my tenuous and fraught relationship with my Uncle Wilbur. The Cliff Notes version of it all is that Wilbur has been a bad news bear for our family since around 1994, when the rivers ran dry of salmon and Uncle Wilbur tragically ate my favorite cousin, Rico. 

It was a sad time that I don’t much like to talk about, but the story continues to a few years ago when Osa convinced me to give Uncle Wilbur a second chance by partnering with him for our “Fish by Bear” dining experience. As an accomplished fisherbear off the Oregon coast who has created a unique and environmentally sustainable one-bear fishing business selling to the highest-end seafood restaurants worldwide, we assumed Wilbur had amended his troubled ways. But alas, the story continues…

It was in the inky dark of the Scorpio new moon last week that our night vision cameras caught a large, ambling figure dressed in all black climbing aboard my new 70-foot yacht in San Diego’s Chula Vista Marina. Within minutes there was an explosion and my state-of-the-art boat was up in flames. Luckily, no one else was on board and authorities arrived quickly enough to rescue our high-end champagne and craft cocktail fixings from the rubble before it completely burned and sunk into the water. 

Your suspicions are correct: the culprit was Wilbur, bad bear that he is. He was nabbed somewhere near the San Fernando Valley this week, carrying a go-bag brimming with flammable explosive materials and, interestingly, piles of high-end tinned fish from around the world. We had so hoped that our connection with Wilbur could be a sustainable one, but our best guess on motive is that he was so overcome with jealousy regarding the success of another bear-owned business that he took matters into his own paws. I’m sorry to have to share this difficult news with our community. 

The upside to this story is that our Bear Buys A Boat dining experience lives on! We will indeed still be hosting you all on San Diego's bay waters on November 16th, but the location will be aboard a grand Newport Hornblower yacht in our lovely San Diego Harbor. There will be champagne, fresh oysters, and an open bar with craft cocktails. There will be incredible views of our city, balmy sea air, curious and interesting strangers, as well as delicious and filling appetizers. 

Please, don’t let Uncle Wilbur’s bad vibes deter you from joining us for this incredible evening. I suffered a huge loss, both regarding my yacht and the betrayal of a beloved bear, but you all showing up for this incredible party will really do a number on restoring my spirits.
I’ll see you then.

Your humble captain,
Chef Bear

Naboo Shaak by Bear

Humans,

By now you’ve most likely heard the news of my grand reunion with Chewbacca the Wookie on May 4, 2024, San Diego, California, Planet Earth. Since he will be traveling all the way from Kashyyyk for this dinner and will be bringing some special, fresh ingredients in his inter-galactic travels, I wanted to highlight a few special items on the menu.

Course one will be an extremely fresh fish aquachile from the planet Ahch-To. This planet, of course, was where the Jedi Order was birthed and is covered in water, with deep blue oceans and volcanic islands. We’ll be using Billfish for this dish, shipped galaxy to galaxy via food-grade stasis pods as freshly as if we caught it today. (On this note, a few of you have inquired on if we will have music by the Billfish double bass, but unfortunately neither Chewie or I have played in years!) We’ll pair this one with a delicate Green Milk cocktail, quite reminiscent of the old planet.

There is so much more to be highlighted, but your fourth course will be Shaak by Bear. Naboo Shaak, to be specific. (Though they are – of course – bred on other planets as well. We are partial to the Naboo Shaak because of the high quality prairie greens on which they feed there.) What’s that? You don’t know much about this bulbous mammalian species of non-sentient herbivores that grazes on the grasslands of Naboo?? Ah, well – the meat that comes from these slow-moving animals is rich with marbled fat and absolutely melts in the mouth. You will enjoy tender cuts cooked gently with buttered tokyo negi sauce. It’s going to be fantastic. Out of this world, even.

I’ve attached the full menu so you can preview more of what this special evening is going to be like. I haven’t been this amped up about a dinner since that first party in Kashyyyk, so I really hope you can join us. Grab your tickets now!

Baddie Bipedals

Humans,

It was sometime during the High Republic Era when I was called on cooking assignment to the peaceful planet Kashyyyk. As I was perfecting a roast porg and jogan fruit entree, I noticed a particularly tall and hairy bipedal who was not quite human hanging around the refectory, and I knew immediately we were kindred spirits.

I offered him a bowl of Rootleaf stew to strike up a conversation and as we spoke, I could tell he was highly intelligent. He told me (in a language not quite “bear-ish”, but not too far off either) that he had fallen on hard times – though he was a spacecraft mechanic and studying to be a pilot, jobs on Kashyyk were scarce. Add to this that he was married to a female named Mallatobuck and had a family to support; well, I knew I had to help.

I was being paid handsomely for this cheffing assignment, considering the long commute time between galaxies, and I certainly needed a sous chef for the dinner I was hosting. I asked him: was he possibly available to assist? He readily agreed. And that was the beginning of a long and rich friendship between myself and a Wookie named Chewbacca.

Over the years I’d return to Kashyyyk for various cheffing opportunities but by then Chewie would often be out on his own adventures, eventually working as a resistance fighter in the famous Clone Wars. But whenever I arrived I’d always find extra furry hards to help with my dinners, supplied by Chewie himself. Once he even had a spacecraft full of Ewoks sent over all the way from Endor, but that’s a story for another time.

With all that said, I’m extremely overjoyed to share that Chewie and I will be reuniting after quite a long hiatus and will be co-hosting a meal in San Diego, CA, USA, Earth on May 4th, 2024. This hasn’t happened in eons, and who knows when this intergalactic meeting of the menu minds will happen again! Please join us for delights and surprises, brought together by two old friends.

We are still working on our menu offerings but stay tuned! The menu will be released in Episode 2!

How to Overcome Arkoudaphobia

Hi everyone, it's Lil' Osito Bear again. As many of you know, I’ve been hosting the Cow by Bear dinners over the last month. I’ve really enjoyed myself but I must say that, as a cub, this is the most human interaction I’ve ever had in my whole life!

Maybe I’m a bit of a socialized beginner, but when I’m cheffing these dinners I try my best to smile, give bear hugs, and wave to the humans I’m interacting with. But there always seems to be a little miscommunication – a smile looks like a snarl to some, a wave is a warning, and a hug can be taken as a sign of aggression?!

I learned in school recently that many people tend to interpret bear actions based on their own fears. We had a guest speaker, bear expert Dr. Lynn Rogers, who said that fearful humans often perceive any noise as a growl, a glance as a threatening glare, and even a bear approaching them as an imminent threat. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Listen, if I’m charging rapidly toward you with a distracted look on my face, it’s most likely that I’m trying to quickly drop a plate of fresh Shiitake Mushroom Cóctel in front of you while also ensuring that the carne asada that’s grilling in the back for the main course stays tender.

So next time you’re interacting with a cooking bear and feel a little fearful, I’d suggest sitting back and thinking about what this might say about yourself. And then drink some of that delicious wine that has been thoughtfully paired with your meal and – RELAX. The more you can learn about bears and how they behave, the less likely you will be to have a negative experience or misinterpret our interactions.

All that said, I still feel bad for anyone I’ve (accidentally) scared recently so I’m offering a 20% off code for all of our April dinners with the code APRILSHOWERS. Join us to experience my Mexico City-inspired menu for just a short time longer.

A Valentine Story

Humans,

In the summer of '99, I was motorcycling through Mexico on a spiritual journey. I was out to discover myself, as young bears often do. My goal was to find The Great Oso, guru of all walking and talking animals, rumored to be holed up in an abandoned minor league baseball stadium in Mexico City.

It was a wild ride, but in the end, The Great Oso was a huge disappointment. Whoever it was that said, "Don't meet your heroes" was right – he was a total nincompoop. But not all was lost, for after meeting The (Not So Great) Oso, I stumbled into a local taqueria and beheld Osa, daughter of the guru, breaking down one of the finest cuts of beef I had ever seen.

I knew right then I loved her, although it was months (full of me nervously pounding copious carne asada in said taqueria) before I could muster up the courage to say it out loud. Osa is the kind of bear that turns heads when she walks into a room, and I'm pretty sure it isn’t just because she was a bear. She can ice skate, fence, surf, write poetry, beat Contra on the Nintendo without cheat codes, and speak five languages (not including Bear).

She has taught me so much about life, about being a better bear, and more about cooking than all of my other masters combined. We came up with the idea to start Cow by Bear together and spent countless nights sketching out the plan. Cow by Bear is hers as much as it is mine, and her heart and soul are in every single dish we make.

It’s only appropriate then, that my Valentine and I cook up a special feast for you and your sweetheart. Nothing would make the two of us happier than to see you at our *love table* this Valentines Day. Check here for a little taste of the menu, and know that Osa and I will both be there – in and out of the kitchen! – and partaking in a few smooches between us while we plate, of course.

See you there!