Howdy, Human Friends!
Many of you have been with the Bear Family for years, so you know my tenuous and fraught relationship with my Uncle Wilbur. The Cliff Notes version of it all is that Wilbur has been a bad news bear for our family since around 1994, when the rivers ran dry of salmon and Uncle Wilbur tragically ate my favorite cousin, Rico.
It was a sad time that I don’t much like to talk about, but the story continues to a few years ago when Osa convinced me to give Uncle Wilbur a second chance by partnering with him for our “Fish by Bear” dining experience. As an accomplished fisherbear off the Oregon coast who has created a unique and environmentally sustainable one-bear fishing business selling to the highest-end seafood restaurants worldwide, we assumed Wilbur had amended his troubled ways. But alas, the story continues…
It was in the inky dark of the Scorpio new moon last week that our night vision cameras caught a large, ambling figure dressed in all black climbing aboard my new 70-foot yacht in San Diego’s Chula Vista Marina. Within minutes there was an explosion and my state-of-the-art boat was up in flames. Luckily, no one else was on board and authorities arrived quickly enough to rescue our high-end champagne and craft cocktail fixings from the rubble before it completely burned and sunk into the water.
Your suspicions are correct: the culprit was Wilbur, bad bear that he is. He was nabbed somewhere near the San Fernando Valley this week, carrying a go-bag brimming with flammable explosive materials and, interestingly, piles of high-end tinned fish from around the world. We had so hoped that our connection with Wilbur could be a sustainable one, but our best guess on motive is that he was so overcome with jealousy regarding the success of another bear-owned business that he took matters into his own paws. I’m sorry to have to share this difficult news with our community.
The upside to this story is that our Bear Buys A Boat dining experience lives on! We will indeed still be hosting you all on San Diego's bay waters on November 16th, but the location will be aboard a grand Newport Hornblower yacht in our lovely San Diego Harbor. There will be champagne, fresh oysters, and an open bar with craft cocktails. There will be incredible views of our city, balmy sea air, curious and interesting strangers, as well as delicious and filling appetizers.
Please, don’t let Uncle Wilbur’s bad vibes deter you from joining us for this incredible evening. I suffered a huge loss, both regarding my yacht and the betrayal of a beloved bear, but you all showing up for this incredible party will really do a number on restoring my spirits.
I’ll see you then.
Your humble captain,
Chef Bear